The Kid I Used To Be

Its quite a mess up in here,
Uncertainty and certainty I can't separate,
A 1 percent of me standing upright,
A 99 percent with me headless,
The greatness the redness of your eyes,
I saw it in me, I saw it in front of my eyes,
Your eyes are mine and it hurts to see,
Uttered your words and it hurts my heart,
I hear my own replies and your tore me apart again,
And everytime I thought I am up above the skies still am I drowning,
Your ignorance is the skin I am wearing.

The kid I used to be,
Wearing this heart beaten billions of beat,
Every beat feels like its gonna explode,
Every second I wish it stopled pumping those pain away.

The kid I used to be,
I'd love to tell you how much help is she making me just content with me,
I'm dying to tell you how much of a pain in the ass my day job is,
I'm torn apart not being able to be truthful about my pain and fears and hope,
But they fly through you anyway,
Because you are not you,
Mental illness is a bitch.